For My Parents & Others Who Miss Me

I am sending love to you tonight,

Wrapped in stars and silver clouds.

My hugs and laughter find their way over the oceans with ease,

Skimming across the dark surface of the water.

But all I can send is my love and light.

My shoulders and head stay here in the shadow of green mountains,

And my toes splash in water clear as glass.

You see, I am walking a path that winds forever on and on,

And I may sometimes pass from your sight.

But do not be angry with me,

Please say goodnight to me each evening even though I don’t sleep beside you;

I will hear the love in your lullaby

Even though you may sing it to an empty room!

I know God’s ears listen at all windows,

And He whispers into all lonely ears. 

Despair Every Morning

i stand before you with my arms spread open wide

i am smiling as stars trickle from my eyes.

i am so grateful to be alive, to taste this food on my tongue,

to hear your voice, to take a deep satisfying breath.

i am so grateful to be drying these dishes, standing next to you.

i think about the snowy peaks of mountains

and i wish i were there in that silent, freezing cold

so I could appreciate my numb toes and icicle hair.

everything is a delight to me now:

the roughness of the page of a book,  the smell of flowers on the breeze,

riding in the car, painting the shed.

even the anger and frustration i sometimes feel

is an absolute delight.

despair is the best alarm clock ever made,

but right now my life feels like laying in your bed at night,

after a long day and a hot shower

with nothing to look forward to but eight hours

on your softest pillow, and a good breakfast in the morning.

redemption is coming bearing gifts of love and forgiveness

and yes i know that nothing lasts forever,

one day i will get my feelings hurt again, one day i will be worried or afraid again,

but this enjoyment of every second will not go away.

i am happy to be here, happy to be alive, and i am ready,

even if i have to be woken up by despair every morning-

at least i’m awake,

and if i’m hating you

know that i’m enjoying hating you

and if i’m loving you

know that i’m enjoying loving you. 

Late Into The Night

We talk late into the night as

I say the sweet things I’ve wanted to say to you for so long.

In this life

It’s easy to go against what my heart truly wants,

But finally, with you, I can float.

All day I think of the beautiful things I’ve seen:

I want to show you all of them.

I want you to be happy and full of spirit

For the rest of your life, for all of your days and nights.

I hope that you’re never lonely

I hope that you never forget that you have a true friend in me.

Some of the most beautiful moments in my life

Have been with you, because of you;

I will never forget them.

One day, if I'm very lucky,

I’ll come face-to-face with your flaws,

With your fears, and with your family,

If you want me to.

It’ll be one of the greatest pleasures in my life

To get to know you better.

I hope I get the chance to know the best,

And the worst,

Things about you.

I hope I get the chance

To love you anyway. 

God Has Freckles

God has freckles,

And they tell a story.

A sweet bedtime story,

The kind that swings me to sleep each night

Beneath his sparkling face.

Sometimes I see my story up there in the swooping arc of stars

And sometimes I see only what could be…

God promises me it’s what WILL be.

He is always planning and prepping for me;

I know because I can feel the wind on my cheek,

My friend’s head on my shoulder,

The sunset glowing in the west,

And, at any moment,

I have the freedom to sink into Love…

And rest in the sky between God’s starry freckles,

The marks left from all the sweet things I have, and am, and will,

Be graced with. 

Fresh Dark Light of Morning

            i am searching in the fresh dark light of morning.

            the people that stay in this house with me understand.

            they are searching too.

            other places and people call to us;

            one day we will all answer, and be separated.

            but for now, these summer days pass slow and quick,

            marked by the different spices in the food

            and the wise things that we blurt out, mostly unknowing

            of our own divine power.

            this is the sweetest of what the world has to offer,

            this close, quiet friendship.

            i could laugh in this kitchen forever.

            i could garden outside forever.

            i could walk amongst the avocado and lychee trees forever.

            in a way I will.

            perhaps my physical body will be far away,

            in college, in bed, in Norway or Switzerland or France…

            but a part of me will walk this house and this orchard forever,

            like good memories make possible.

            i am searching in the fresh dark light of morning.

            oh the glory, of the people that stay in this house with me.